From May/20: This is where I can voice my thoughts. I hope that it works well and that I use it often, but if not, then oh well... From May/20: Wouldn't it be great if we could all just get along? What is all the useless fighting for? Why can't the Body of Christ stand unified? How can I be the man of God that I am supposed to be? Why does love sometimes seem to be such a superficial thing? Why do I feel like it is unimportant, then find myself looking for a relationship? A lot of questions deserve a lot of answers. A lot of answers deserve a lot of questions. From May/20: Just one more for the day... I thought that this was ironic... Forbidden You don't have permission to access /~ttoll/poetry/love.html on this server. That is what netscape had to tell me... Hmph... From May/28: I am getting paid to destroy and rebuild computers? Cool.... From May/30: What are the proper hoops that must be jumped through? How in the world are male and female supposed to get together with all of this crap that we have been socialized to believe as truth... Why can't things just be simple... cave men had it easy... grab a club, find a woman (or two) and take them home with ya From Jun/05: Tonight my sister and I talked about getting hitched. Now before you read that wrong, it was not to each other... I have decided that female companionship is not something to expect from God, and if it does not come, c'est la vie. But, if it does arrive, it is one of God's greatest gifts and should be treated as such. So, where am I now? I would say .... lost, but when have I not been??? :) From Jun/12: Stability... that is what I need. I want something in my life that I can count on, somebody in my life that I can always count on, somebody who is not afraid to laugh, to cry, to love. Is it stupid of me to wait for this person... no, but to limit my self and not to search for her... that might be a little counter productive. Do I date for a mate, no... do I date, looking for future mates... maybe I figure that I won't date anybody that I don't see myself having a real relationship with ( you know, longer than a month or so ). This might be hurting my social life, but it is keeping my mind and my actions pure, my brain alert, and my heart intact. I guess, though, that for my heart to grow, it needs to go through abuse. I am just not ready for that pain... I am ready for the pleasure, but I am still a whipped puppy when it comes to pain.